Why aren't you breastfeeding your baby?

It seems that in the enthusiasm to promote breastfeeding, some women are being bullied and demeaned for using formula. This is not ok. 

Most of us know the gazillion reasons why breastfeeding is great, and continuing to educate the public and promote the reasons why breastfeeding is important, while also supporting women in their breastfeeding journey is essential and a lot of work still needs to be done in this area.

But what is ALSO great is a mother who is happy and supported in her decisions. A mother who, for whatever reason, has decided that formula is the best option for her child and herself is confident and happy in her decision. It seems that in the eagerness to promote breastfeeding some people now view formula feeding as lazy or unnecessary. 

There are three problems with this viewpoint

1. A mother's decision on how she raises her children is none of your business
2. A mother's decisions on how she raises her children is none of your business
3. A mother's decisions on how she raises her children is none of your business.

Do I need to go on?

As a culture we have made so much progress in supporting women in being able to live a lifestyle of their choice, however, when you become a mother your choices are suddenly everyone else's business too. 

"A mother's decisions on how she raises her children is none of your business." Click to Tweet

The stranger who raises their eyebrows when you pull out a bottle, 

The well-meaning friend who keeps talking about how great breastfeeding is for your child and ramming the message down your throat. 

The health professionals who are hell bent on attaching that child to your breast (until they turn 6 - 12 months and then it seems that formula is the preferred milk by a number of GP's I've encountered as a breastfeeding mum!)

But really, most of us understand that the onus is on us to research our options and choose the best one. No one, not even a health professional, can understand all of the factors that go into making your decision. The decision that is right for one family is not right for another. 

"The onus to research our options and choose the best one falls on us" Click to Tweet

As health professionals, well-meaning friends and even strangers, our job is to support other parents, regardless of their choices. To provide useful information when required, but, for heavens sake, your job is not to try to judge or persuade someone that your decision is right for them.

"Your job is not to try to judge or persuade someone that your decision is right for them" Click to Tweet

Lead by example, not by judgement.

So, if you find yourself asking the question "Why aren't you breastfeeding your baby?" it's time to shut up and think of how you could brighten someone's day instead of stepping over the line. Remember: a mother's decision on how she raises her children is none of your business.